


Snake Oil Salesman

by Jocondite (jocondite)



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-09
Updated: 2010-03-09
Packaged: 2017-10-21 09:25:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/223653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jocondite/pseuds/Jocondite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evan didn't like being mean (unless it was to Weir, who deserved it). He said selflessly "Fine, you can blow me, if you really want."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snake Oil Salesman

**Author's Note:**

> For the wintergameskink prompt: "Stephane gives off an air of being the sensitive, romantic type. However, this is just a ruse to get potential lovers into the sack, and he has therefore left a trail of broken hearts across the figure skating world. Come on, people, give me dawg!Lambiel. You know you want to."

"I greatly admired your jumps today," the Swiss Guy said. He gave Evan a sideways look when he said it, his dark eyes full of shy, yet manly admiration.

"Yeah, I was killing it," Evan said. It was true. He was a rockstar. He tried to remember what he'd seen Swiss Guy pulling off, so he could say something encouraging back, but he'd spent the rest of the practice, after he skated, staring at Weir across the room and trying to curse him with his mind. You could do anything with your mind, when you put your mind to it. He had had that exact slogan printed up onto posters in every room of his house. "It's all in the mind power."

"This is true," Swiss Guy said, biting his lip and looking away. The corner of his mouth trembled slightly, as if overcome with awe for Evan's wisdom. "Perhaps you could give me some more, um, some more hints, so I can skate as well as you?"

The Swiss Guy had a nice voice. The accent was very soothing. Almost caressing. And he was very respectful, unlike some people, and by some people, Evan meant Weir. "I don't usually give out pointers to the competition," he said dubiously, but Swiss Guy's eyes were huge and brown and sweet as a baby deer's. Evan wasn't a total heartless automaton, no matter what some people (Weir) said. "But okay."

Swiss Guy's face lit with innocent delight, and Evan couldn't not notice that he was very handsome, although he vaguely felt that something in his brain had failed in its usual filtering job by letting him acknowledge this.

It still came as something of a shock when, later and back in Evan's room, Swiss Guy leaned over and put a hand on his arm, right in the middle of Evan's well-prepared speech on the importance of constant vigilance and giving one-hundred-fifty percent of yourself. He almost never got to give the speech properly, since press people and interviewers cut him off only several minutes in, and Frank said "Very _good_ , Evan!" before he even got to the best part, and Weir had laughed and laughed and then said "Oh my god, I can't wait for you to discover auto-fellatio, it'll be a match made in heaven."

"This all is very interesting," Swiss Guy said, staring soulfully up at him with his Bambi eyes. The admiration in them made Evan feel warm inside, even if Swiss Guy's magical caressing voice seemed a lot flatter than before. "But, I was wondering if you would, if you would show me your more _personal_ pointers."

"Those are my personal pointers," Evan said. "I don't tell just _everybody_ about giving one-hundred-and-fifty percent."

"I am flattered," Swiss Guy said, and bit his lip again. His hand was still on Evan's arm. "But I mean, um. I admire you _so much._ " He squeezed, and Evan suddenly became aware that Swiss Guy's thigh was pressing against his, and had been for some time, and that they were sitting nestled side by side on his bed, and Swiss Guy's head was tipped very close to his, the better to hear Evan's personal pointers.

This was not the most blamelessly heterosexual position he had ever been in.

"Oh," Evan said. " _Oh_." He had dealt with ice groupies before. "I just don't, uh," he said, trying to gently remove Swiss Guy's hand. Swiss Guy blinked trustingly at him, his soft eyes sweet and melting like the dark chocolate Evan wasn't allowed to eat even on the off-season, and Evan forgot the rest of his line. It was Swiss Guy's fault for being pretty, and not even pretty like a girl, like Evan secretly thought Weir was sometimes, with his curls and his mean red mouth and his skin that looked all soft and dewy and well-hydrated. Swiss Guy was pretty like a guy, with rakish eyebrows and a strong jaw and strong shoulders. His mouth was curving down.

"I think perhaps you are straight," Swiss Guy said sadly. "I think perhaps you do not, um, want to be with me. But I think, I must ask anyway." His eyelashes flickered. Evan really enjoyed people telling him that they admired him.

"I don't," he started again. Swiss Guy's mouth turned down further, and his eyes were full of tragic, noble resignation, and it would just be mean to say no. Evan didn't like being mean (unless it was to Weir, who deserved it). He said selflessly "Fine, you can blow me, if you really want."

It made Swiss Guy happy, and that made Evan happy, because he was a very giving guy like that. Then Swiss Guy stopped and got up, before Evan had got off. Which was just, just bad sportsmanship, not that Evan believed in sportsmanship, because on the ice it was every man for himself, and there was no 'team' in 'I'. "No," he said, and wiggled his hips, like it would encourage Swiss Guy to start again. His penis swayed from side to side, pathetically eager.

"Yes, yes, I know," Swiss Guy said. He had taken off his shirt, and his pectoral development was strangely pleasing in the warm yellow light. "Un moment."

"What are you _doing_?" Evan asked, craning his neck. There was a liquid blurping sound, like something being squeezed out of a tube, and he was starting to feel concerned. But then Swiss Guy came back over to the bed and knelt down between Evan's very well-developed thighs, which was great, and his mouth and even better, his tongue, came back, which was awesome, but then there was _something_ where things just shouldn't be if you wanted to live an unblemished heterosexual lifestyle.

Evan made a protesting noise, jerking, and Swiss Guy lifted his head briefly and said soothingly "No, no, I promise, it will make it better." Then he crooked his finger, and that did something which made Evan's thighs tremble helplessly and his hips buck up, and Swiss Guy didn't even choke, just took him down deeper.

It was pretty great.


End file.
